I left my notebook at home. It's raining. Tomorrow is a holiday. Today is a holiday. Two days ago was a holiday. The water went out. The power went out. I have a slight headache. I got sunburned yesterday and am now on bed-rest. I didn't have enough money. My mom's aunt's cousin died. God didn't will it to happen.
It's all familiar to me, ever more so here. Excuses.
The First World likes to criticize the Second and Third Worlds, claiming their minions lack development. However Nicaraguans have honed a few skills for themselves. One of which happens to be the art of crafting fabulously bogus excuses.
Just where does this epidemic come from you might ask. I can pinpoint a few reasons: not wanting to disappoint the other person, saying what you think the other person wants to hear, skirting the issue/ avoiding confrontation, being in denial of the fact that you haven't performed as expected, looking for the easiest way out of the conversation, etc. etc.
I could even excuse the preponderance of excuses by saying that it's “just a cultural thing.” Sorry. Nope. Not gonna do it. I've been wheedled and cajoled into letting every little irksome thing go, by chalking it up to “cultural differences.” Dear Nicaragua, I've let you off the hook before. Refuse to do it this time. Frankly, I think everyone deserves to hear the truth. And any variation from it is a blatant lack of respect. So I for one will not neatly file the Nicaraguan tendency for excuses under the “cultural” category. It's in a class all its own.
What's shocking to me is the tacit understanding of excuses here; it's not like people actually believe them for one minute. Everyday people venture the most obscure reasons for arriving late, not arriving at all, etc. most of which have nothing to do with the task at hand.
For example, a student is absent from school for two days. “My neighbor died,” she might say. We could presume said student went devoutly to the funeral services, shed a heartfelt tear and spent the past two days grieving a loss. Or we could face the reality of the matter- she stayed home to watch cable t.v., was a no-show at the funeral activities and plucked the convenient excuse of death-hit-close-to-home to exempt her from school.
Another example. I canceled a community class last week because the power went out. Granted, the power was out in my town, but not in the adjacent town where class is held. So theoretically I could go to class, no problem. But supposedly thievery heightens during power outages. Don't ask me why, but it's a common fact....supposedly...among these parts. So I had to text my students to inform them I was reluctantly staying put. Had to guard the house. Had to ward off the thieves. Couldn't make it. And as ridiculous as I felt, they were more than understanding about it.
...of course they were. They've been bred to be. Excuses, cancellations, postponements are all part of everyday life here. For every excuse they've accepted, they've become more desensitized to them. For every excuse they've floated- successfully- they've been rewarded with the fact that it's perfectly okay to lie. What's more, for every horrible letdown or time they've been supremely disappointed, they've been taught that it's OKAY to reciprocate the same behavior.
People's expectations are conditioned to be low here.
Which brings me to my point. Yes, life happens. Things happen. There is always an excuse. And sometimes, it's even a good (and honest) one. But when we blur the lines of fact and fiction, or just overtly lie, we sacrifice part of our societal morals. We send the signal that we ourselves should not be relied upon, nor should we seek such reliance in others. We permit ourselves to be unaccountable.
And the more often we do it, the deeper we dig ourselves into the hole. For every excuse we give or take, we undermine the morals of trust, dependability and honesty that are integral to any society.
It may seem like no big deal to fib every now and then. No teacher wants to hear that a student plumb did not do the homework. Neither does a teacher want to hear that a student left the homework at home, as a gossamer excuse for the cold hard truth- it was never done to begin with. The evolution of minor excuses into a society of shattered expectations is real. If you can't count on your neighbors, classmates, close friends then who can you count on?
Excuses are condoned- and legitimized- by not only the people who fabricate them, but also those who readily accept them. Until people have the gumption to reject excuses and demand real reasoning, the web of lies will continue to spawn at the sake of societal morals.
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